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We all know how rushed and chaotic mornings can be, especially on the weekdays.
Between getting everyone and yourself dressed, making breakfast and lunch, and making sure everyone including yourself gets out of the house on time, it's a mad rush, even with proper planning!
Sometimes, unknowingly, voices are raised, anxiety is up and tempers flare. But we don't intentionally want to start off our days like this do we?
No matter how busy things get, spending a few minutes to connect with your child before they head off to school is not only meaningful to your kids but it's absolutely worth it.
Initiating some form of connection doesn't have to be complicated. Even on our busiest days, we can find the smallest pockets of time to make our kids feel seen, loved, and supported. Sometimes all it takes is a quick hug, a few encouraging words, and being fully present in those moments with them.
Here I share 11 quick ways you can connect with your child before they head out the door to school. The best part? They are nothing extraordinary but will have a lasting impact!
The Importance of Connection Before School
Why is it so important to take a few minutes to connect with your child in the morning?
Well, maybe we can start by thinking about it from their perspective.
No matter what age they are, even if they're in high school, heading off to school in itself can be overwhelming - new lessons, tests, social dynamics, submissions, admissions, and basic overall overstimulation. Even as adults, we go to work feeling the pressure and anxiousness, let alone our kids who are facing the same emotions but at their own level and not really knowing how to deal with them.
When we, as parents, take even just a moment to offer them comfort, support, and encouragement, it helps them start the day right.
Those few moments that you spend connecting with them can give them reassurance, ease anxiousness, and remind them that no matter what the day brings, they have us in their corner.
Plus, it's a nice way for us to feel connected too before the day really kicks off.
11 Ways To Connect With Your Kids Before School
These are some ideas for you to connect with your kids before school. As we know, what works for a 7-year-old might go down well with your teenager.
Your elementary schoolers still very much thrive on physical touch, being held, and doing things together. They love feeling close to you, and any little ritual can go a long way in making them feel secure and special. Whereas your middle schoolers are starting to fight their way for a bit more independence and even if they don't always show it they still need your presence and reassurance.
Your high schoolers are at that special age where they act like they don't need us at all, but we know better, don't we? They are more independent - yes, but then again they still want that connection with us, even if it's on their own terms.
Here are 11 ways for you to connect with your kids that you can pick and choose from depending on the ages of your kids.
1 - Two-Minute Snuggle in Bed
I used to do this with my son (until he was 12!). It was special, not only for him but for me too. It was a more peaceful and calming way for him to wake up in the morning and ease into the day. I hope he'll always remember those snuggles!
2 - Do A Bathroom Routine Together
Those few minutes in the bathroom, washing your faces, and brushing your teeth together can be a nice way to connect with your kids, especially the younger ones. Nothing much needs to be said but your presence will mean a great deal to them.
3 - A Breakfast Chat
This can be especially needed if you sense that they're nervous or anxious about going to school. It's a nice way to get them to relax. You can ask them how they are feeling about their day ahead or you can talk to them about after-school plans or plans for the weekend. It only takes a few minutes and it's nothing compared to the fact that you won't be seeing them for the next 7 to 8 hours.
For older kids, you can talk about their plans for the day and how they're getting on certain projects or just to catch up on the latest.
4 - A Secret Handshake
Create a fun little handshake that’s just between the two of you, and take a moment to practice it every morning before they leave. It’s a cute tradition that makes them feel connected to you, even while they're at school.
5 - A Big Bear Hug and a Secret Whisper
Before they leave, give them a big bear hug and whisper something nice - "I'm so proud of you", "I'm so happy you're mine", or "I love you to the moon and back". Keeping it a whisper makes it extra special for them.
6 - Make the Most out of Your Walk/Drive to School
Making the most out of these walks or drives to school is something I cannot recommend enough. It's one of those things that has brought so much connection between me and my son.
When he was younger it was a lot of story-telling, jokes, and singing and as he grew older the conversations changed into those about experiences at school, friends, fears, aspirations, and thoughts on life.
It was an extremely short drive but those drives added up and they were packed with so much sharing from both of us. Those drives will always be meaningful to me and hopefully to him too. Driving him to and from school every day for 11 years is something I don't regret doing even on my busiest days.
7 - Early Morning Walks
If you and any one of your kids are early risers, you could take a short walk around the block to start the day. It's not only a great way to connect but also a nice way to get some fresh air, exercise, and alone time with them before the morning rush.
8 - Compliment Them
Especially for tweens and teens - boy or girl, how they look matters a lot to them so take time to let them know that they look nice or you love how they did their hair. Trust me, even if they don't show it, they'll appreciate it and it'll give them a boost of self-confidence. They'll walk out that door with their head held high and a spring in their step!
9 - Leave a Note in their Lunch Box
Leaving notes in their lunch box is something practiced by a lot of parents and it's a nice way to connect with our kids even when we're not around. Regardless of how old your kids get, leaving notes in their lunch boxes or hidden in their school books will never get old. You know the moment they read that note they'll smile a little smile and think of you even if they're a raging teenager with an icy exterior!
10 - Text Them Something Nice
Especially for your older kids, once in a while text them something nice. Sometimes reaching out to them this way is more meaningful to them than saying it straight to their face. It's more personal to them and it will for sure force a secret smile. And you might even get an out-of-nowhere hug from them after school.
11 - Make them a Latte or Smoothie to go
For your teenagers, acts of service can mean a lot more than just lip service. More often than not they are more rushed in the mornings than you are. They already have a lot going on in their lives and having a smoothie or latte prepared for them to go says a lot to them without saying anything.
Depending on what's going on in your life and if you start feeling overwhelmed by the morning rush and a slight disconnect with your kids, take a deep breath and remember that those few moments of connection with them, regardless of their ages really do matter.
You'll be glad you took the time, and most importantly your kids will carry that connection with them throughout the day.
What are some of the ways that you connect with your kids in the mornings? I'd love it if you'd share them.
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