Let’s face it, parenting teenagers can be challenging. They’re moody, they’re messy, and they’re always testing boundaries. But despite all of that, we love them more than anything in the world.

As a mom of a teenage son myself, I’ve learned a thing or two about what to expect (and what not to expect) from my teen.

So, let’s get into it. Here are 12 things you should stop expecting from your teen, and why it’s okay to let go of these unrealistic expectations.

1. Perfect Grades

Yes, education is important, and we want our kids to succeed. But let’s be real, expecting your teen to have perfect grades all the time is setting them (and you) up for failure. Sometimes they’re going to struggle, and that’s okay. We need to support them and encourage them to do their best, but we also need to remember that grades aren’t everything.

2. Perfectly Planned Out Futures

We want our kids to have bright futures, but expecting them to have everything figured out at such a young age is unrealistic. Let them explore different options and figure out what they want to do with their lives. Who knows, they might surprise you with a career path you never even thought of.

3. Always Agreeing with You

Teenagers are going to have their own opinions, and they’re not always going to agree with us. And that’s okay. We need to encourage them to have their own thoughts and feelings, and to express themselves. It’s all part of their growth and development.

4. Perfectly Behaved All the Time

Let’s face it, our teenagers aren’t going to be perfect all the time. They make mistakes, they test boundaries, and they push buttons. That’s just part of teenage behavior. We need to remember that they’re still learning and growing, and it’s our job to guide them through the ups and downs of adolescence.

5. Spotless Bedrooms

We all wish our teenagers would keep their rooms clean, but let’s face it, that’s just not their thing. As long as it’s not a health hazard, let them have their messy space. It’s their personal sanctuary, and as long as they can find what they need, it’s all good.

6. Doing Chores Without Being Asked

Wouldn’t it be nice if our teens just did their chores without being asked? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. But that doesn’t mean we should stop expecting them to contribute to the household. It’s important to have clear expectations and consequences and to follow through on them. But we also need to remember to praise them when they do a good job.

7. Never Making Mistakes

Teenagers are going to make mistakes. It’s just a fact of life. And while it’s important to hold them accountable for their actions, we also need to remember that mistakes are opportunities for growth and learning. We need to help them navigate their mistakes, and teach them how to make better choices in the future.

8. Always Being Available

As much as we want to be there for our kids all the time, teenagers need space and independence. They’re going to want to spend time with their friends, pursue their interests, and have their own experiences. It’s important to give them the freedom to do so, while also being there for them when they need us.

9. Being Interested in the Same Things You Are

Just because you love golf or knitting or cooking doesn’t mean your teenager is going to share the same interests. And that’s okay. Let them explore their own interests and hobbies, even if they don’t align with yours. Who knows, they might even teach you something new.

10. Being Constantly Happy and Positive

We all want our teens to be happy and positive, but it’s important to remember that they’re going through a lot of changes and challenges. They’re going to have bad days, and they’re going to experience a range of emotions. We need to let them know that it’s okay to not be okay and that we’re there for them no matter what.

11. Never Pushing Back

Sometimes our teenagers are going to push back against our rules and expectations. And while it can be frustrating, it’s also a sign that they’re developing their own sense of identity and independence. We need to find a balance between setting boundaries and allowing them to push back and assert themselves.

12. Being Just Like You

Our teenagers are their own unique individuals, and they’re not going to be exactly like us. They’re going to have their own personalities, interests, and quirks. And that’s a good thing! We need to celebrate their individuality and encourage them to be true to themselves.

So there you have it, 12 things you should stop expecting from your teen. Remember, parenting teenagers is a journey full of ups and downs, but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. Embrace the challenges, celebrate the wins, and don’t forget to laugh along the way.

As a final note, always remember to communicate openly and honestly with your teenagers. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and that you’re there for them no matter what. With love, patience, and understanding, you can help your teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence and become the amazing young adults they are meant to be.